As I type this, I am propped up in bed, sipping Diet Sierra Mist and eating Immodium like they are about to be banned. It's a nasty stomach bug. You know the kind, you want to lie and quietly die, but instead you take turn about in bed quietly aching and hoping it will all resolve, then you are galloping to the bathroom like the hounds of hell are on your feet. Not good.
My entire household has this with the exception of one. My Autistic/Bipolar/OCD/Anxiety-ridden 16 year old daughter. She feels great. My son, dtr-in-law (I think it should be daughter-in-love because she isn't just my daughter through a legal- aka law marriage: she is my daughter because my son loves her. That would have made me love her if I hadn't already, but that is a tangent for another day) my hubby and I are all moaning and groaning and she feels fine. It's frequently this way. If we have a 24 hour bug (which this is definitely not) she MIGHT be sick a few hours. If we have the flu, she might have the sniffles. If she gets sick, she gets SICK, but it is very rare. I think this is an example of God's grace and love. A lot of people might disagree, but I've seen it over and over.
I have a cousin about 5 or 6 years older than me, but she has Down's Syndrome. She is a short little glow of love. She is just happy and at peace. She has had a cornea transplant twice. The doctors who saw her the first time were absolutely amazed that she wasn't in agony. They said she should have been- anyone in that position would be in hysterical pain. When they asked her how her eye felt she just said "It's ok. It not hurt."
Can you think of any reason for that, besides God's mercy and grace? I think it's God taking extra mercy on a wounded child of His. Of course, it's just my opinion, for what that's worth, but it should give you something to think about. And any time you stop to think about God, something good is happening.
God Bless you!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Bad things come in sets of 3
It's totally true. Bad things DO come in sets of 3. Trust me. I've been a nurse for- hmmm, you can do math if I say how long.. well, I've been a nurse a looong time, the vast majority of that working in geriatrics at nursing homes, and people die in sets of three.
Ever notice that it works that way with money, too? Perfect example.. next month is Christmas, so I need to spend money there that isn't a regular monthly expense. So, Naturally....the dryer is dead. Dead, dead, dead. Not repairable. Okay. I can deal with that. I also desperately need a new vacuum. Obviously, I don't WANT a new vacuum. I hate to vacuum, don't you?
Regardless, there is my point- 3 expenses all at once.
Well, it's okay, because I've discovered the secret to why it happens that way. We, as human beings, are selfish. Didn't see that coming, didja? We are, it's true. We EXPECT good things. Have you ever heard someone say, "Wow, I woke up this morning alive. I'm not in prison. No one robbed me while I slept! Wow! Three great things happening all in a row! That's how it works, you know."
So, that's the mystery solved. We only notice something happening when it's something bad or unwanted.What a bunch of jerks we are! I am chief of the "Oh NO!" brigade. Something negative can suck my joy away faster than money at the fair.
Well, we're lucky. We can fix that with an attitude adjustment. It won't last long. We'll have to nurture it and give it love or the new attitude will sneak out on us.
So, next time we get ready to gripe, complain, or worry, let's try and remember- for every 3 bad things that happen to us.... there are about 300 blessings we overlook in our rush to see the negative. As a Christian, you have so very much to be thankful for. If you're not a Christian- you need to be. I'll be glad to point you at someone who can help you if you want to learn all about it. That's my goal. And my challenge to you? Nurture your attitude of thankfulness.
Ever notice that it works that way with money, too? Perfect example.. next month is Christmas, so I need to spend money there that isn't a regular monthly expense. So, Naturally....the dryer is dead. Dead, dead, dead. Not repairable. Okay. I can deal with that. I also desperately need a new vacuum. Obviously, I don't WANT a new vacuum. I hate to vacuum, don't you?
Regardless, there is my point- 3 expenses all at once.
Well, it's okay, because I've discovered the secret to why it happens that way. We, as human beings, are selfish. Didn't see that coming, didja? We are, it's true. We EXPECT good things. Have you ever heard someone say, "Wow, I woke up this morning alive. I'm not in prison. No one robbed me while I slept! Wow! Three great things happening all in a row! That's how it works, you know."
So, that's the mystery solved. We only notice something happening when it's something bad or unwanted.What a bunch of jerks we are! I am chief of the "Oh NO!" brigade. Something negative can suck my joy away faster than money at the fair.
Well, we're lucky. We can fix that with an attitude adjustment. It won't last long. We'll have to nurture it and give it love or the new attitude will sneak out on us.
So, next time we get ready to gripe, complain, or worry, let's try and remember- for every 3 bad things that happen to us.... there are about 300 blessings we overlook in our rush to see the negative. As a Christian, you have so very much to be thankful for. If you're not a Christian- you need to be. I'll be glad to point you at someone who can help you if you want to learn all about it. That's my goal. And my challenge to you? Nurture your attitude of thankfulness.
Playing catch-up
Yes, It's true. I am frequently technologically challenged. I have NOT been able to add any blog posts for the longest, so instead of here, my semi-coherant pro-God ramblings are on bits of paper and in spiral notebooks scattered hither and yon. However, today I have fought with Blogger three times logging in and out and FINALLY that "post a blog" button appeared. Magic? Fate? Accidentally hitting the right key? I don't know. But I do know I have stuff to say. :) We all knew that, right. So, we'll start here and move forward. :)
In my Homoletics class the gentlemen recently were assigned to prepare a sermon on "The mulit-faceted role of a minister," or something similar. This time instead of me reading some great speech someone else wrote, I was charged with the assignment of "The Role of the Christian Woman in Ministry," Yeah. Now THAT is what I have been waiting for. A chance to explain myself, because a lot of people don't seem to think it makes sense to get a degree without expectation of paying employment in the future. I think I make their heads hurt. Anyhoo, today, for your reading pleasure (or not, your call) I'm adding my paper here and YOU can decide what you think. I can expound and pontificate on it endlessly. Seriously.
In my Homoletics class the gentlemen recently were assigned to prepare a sermon on "The mulit-faceted role of a minister," or something similar. This time instead of me reading some great speech someone else wrote, I was charged with the assignment of "The Role of the Christian Woman in Ministry," Yeah. Now THAT is what I have been waiting for. A chance to explain myself, because a lot of people don't seem to think it makes sense to get a degree without expectation of paying employment in the future. I think I make their heads hurt. Anyhoo, today, for your reading pleasure (or not, your call) I'm adding my paper here and YOU can decide what you think. I can expound and pontificate on it endlessly. Seriously.
The Role of the Christian Woman in Christ’s Church
We’re going to talk about the role of the Christian woman in Christ’s church. I’m certain that a lot of people’s initial thought (especially those of the older generations) to this question is “sit there and be quiet.” Many of those who would never admit to that triggered thought, had it. Well, sometimes that’s exactly what many Christian women think, too. However, they are absolutely wrong and may be dampening their own spirituality and weakening their relationship with the Lord.
While stating from the onset that in no way should a woman “usurp the man’s authority,” (1 Timothy 2:11-13) There are many ways a woman can and SHOULD do her own ministry.
Being a preacher is not the only way that a man can do ministry work. Just because a man doesn’t feel that he has the ability or desire to preach the gospel to a congregation doesn’t mean he can kick back and make his scheduled appearances at church and be living a vital Christian life. Therefore, just because a woman can’t preach before a congregation, that doesn’t mean the only act of worship she can participate in is to show up in her dress clothes and pearls for services, and manage to sing the soprano bits of the hymns.
Man or woman, we should all work on our personal relationships with God. The Biblical ministry of an effective woman can abound for the church. When “minister” is used as a verb, it means to do a service or offer help to someone. God did not offer the great commission to just one man or to just men.
It is biblical and practical for a woman to minister to other women, especially to the younger generation. A young girl with questions is often more comfortable talking to a woman, rather than a man. When a child, youth, or another woman asks for our help with a spiritual or Biblical matter, would it be appropriate to tell them to “find a man to ask.”? Absolutely not!
There is more than enough work in the kingdom for every member of Christ’s body to stay busy from now until the moment they die. Woman can minister in many ways. We can do jail and prison ministries for the women who are incarcerated. Ladies can grade the Bible lessons by mail, do children’s, teen and women-only Bible study classes. We can volunteer at battered women’s shelters, soup kitchens, and pro-life groups, giving physical and spiritual help simultaneously. A woman who is kind and giving of herself and her time to neighbors, family, and strangers are ministering, whether they call it a ministry or not.
Each woman is just as responsible for her own soul and salvation as any man and I don’t think Heaven is going to be jam-packed with Christians who do the bare-minimum required of them. We should all be encouraged to study, learn all about God that we can and make Heaven our goal. And we should all try to grab as many people, as we can, to go with us.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
What's a BAD Day?
Do you ever have a "bad day?" You know what I'm talking about. Your alarm doesn't go off or you hit snooze that one time too many. Your toaster burned the last poptart. You forgot to go to the ATM and are scrounging in the seats of the car for change. Someone cuts you off and WAVES at you, like that makes it okay. You hit every light as it turns red. Your hair is doing "that thing" again and there is no fixing it. You get trapped behind a school bus. Or TWO. Your cell phone is ringing constantly and when you get to it- someone in India wants to sell you something, but you aren't sure what because their accent is too thick.
You getting the picture? So then you either throw a pity party (Black crepe chains in your head to match the black cake- licorice flavor cause you are DROWNING in the self-pity.) or you're one of THEM. You know who- the people who get ticked OFF when things go downhill fast. They slam their car doors. They scowl at you when you smile at them in passing. When asked how they are, they snarl "Don't Ask!' and then proceed to take you step by step through their misery. Please tell me you aren't either of these. I have been both on occassion. It's not pretty. But here's where I make a point.
Imagine you started with the most incredible life ever- no worries for yourself at all. In the most perfect and happy surroundings ever- actually beyond your imagining. Then you see how evil and corrupt the world is. Imagine it breaks your heart to see how we all treat each other. (and it really should) We fight, bicker, yell. Some pysically beat their children and spouses. Others beat their souls with words like "stupid," "useless," "pest". Worse things like "I wish you'd never been born." Some people kill their children in a fit of rage, for no reason other than they can. Some don't even wait until they are born to do it and tear them brutually from their bodies. Husbands and wives pledge to love until death and then divorce before a year's out. People kill each other for sports shoes, expensive clothes, over jealousy or because they didn't like the way you looked at them. Unbelievable, huh?
Now, imagine that this hurts you so much you can't even bear to look on these people. Because they are your children. You created them from dust and no matter how many chances you give them, they just keep blowing it. So great is their sin that there is no sacrifice great enough to blot it out... but wait, there is one. It's too horrific a sacrifice for any mortal to ever make, but no mortal could. God saw this. He watched his beloved creations falling back into sin every single time they vowed eternal obedience. They are too weak to be sinless and too sinful to God to bear to even LOOK upon. So, God, in infinite wisdom and perfect grace decided to send his son- his only child, one part of the Godhead to earth to be born into human flesh. To be born subject to the temptations we face every day and to live the only ever perfect life- free from all sin. And then, when He had shown us exactly how to live, including being baptised when he himself was without sin, He allowed Himself to be ridiculed, tortured, beaten and humiliated. All while He was in human form. Where he was able to feel fear, horror and excrutiating agony. And in this human body of flesh and blood and emotions he was taunted, beaten bloody and battered, had a crown on thorns pushed down onto his head in mockery and oh, such pain. He had himself stripped and his clothes gambled for. His beloved apostle stood and denied him 3 times. A disciple He loved sold His life for 30 paltry pieces of silver and then he was NAILED to a cross in the stead of a murderer. This all happened to Our Lord and savior, who wept bitter tears in Gethsemane and asked that this cup might be taken away, ONLY if it be God's will. But He knew it wouldn't be. It coudn't if mankind were ever to be reconciled to God. This son, this part of God could have called down 12 Legions of Angels to free him. ( that is 12 times between probably 400-600, possibly up to 1000 angels per Legion) Yet he did not. He prayed for those who crucified him. He promised the thief who called on His name that he'd be in paradise that night. He cried out for God. He said "I thirst" at which time they gave Him vinegar on a hyssop- and this fulfilled the last prophecy regarding His death.
All this pain, suffering, false accusations, and humiliation was suffered for you. And me. And every sinner living and yet to be born. You might want to think about that the next time you start to complain about your "BAD DAY." It's all relative. Remember to thank Him and not let one drop of that precious blood be wasted. Work for the drops shed for you. He still loves us.
You getting the picture? So then you either throw a pity party (Black crepe chains in your head to match the black cake- licorice flavor cause you are DROWNING in the self-pity.) or you're one of THEM. You know who- the people who get ticked OFF when things go downhill fast. They slam their car doors. They scowl at you when you smile at them in passing. When asked how they are, they snarl "Don't Ask!' and then proceed to take you step by step through their misery. Please tell me you aren't either of these. I have been both on occassion. It's not pretty. But here's where I make a point.
Imagine you started with the most incredible life ever- no worries for yourself at all. In the most perfect and happy surroundings ever- actually beyond your imagining. Then you see how evil and corrupt the world is. Imagine it breaks your heart to see how we all treat each other. (and it really should) We fight, bicker, yell. Some pysically beat their children and spouses. Others beat their souls with words like "stupid," "useless," "pest". Worse things like "I wish you'd never been born." Some people kill their children in a fit of rage, for no reason other than they can. Some don't even wait until they are born to do it and tear them brutually from their bodies. Husbands and wives pledge to love until death and then divorce before a year's out. People kill each other for sports shoes, expensive clothes, over jealousy or because they didn't like the way you looked at them. Unbelievable, huh?
Now, imagine that this hurts you so much you can't even bear to look on these people. Because they are your children. You created them from dust and no matter how many chances you give them, they just keep blowing it. So great is their sin that there is no sacrifice great enough to blot it out... but wait, there is one. It's too horrific a sacrifice for any mortal to ever make, but no mortal could. God saw this. He watched his beloved creations falling back into sin every single time they vowed eternal obedience. They are too weak to be sinless and too sinful to God to bear to even LOOK upon. So, God, in infinite wisdom and perfect grace decided to send his son- his only child, one part of the Godhead to earth to be born into human flesh. To be born subject to the temptations we face every day and to live the only ever perfect life- free from all sin. And then, when He had shown us exactly how to live, including being baptised when he himself was without sin, He allowed Himself to be ridiculed, tortured, beaten and humiliated. All while He was in human form. Where he was able to feel fear, horror and excrutiating agony. And in this human body of flesh and blood and emotions he was taunted, beaten bloody and battered, had a crown on thorns pushed down onto his head in mockery and oh, such pain. He had himself stripped and his clothes gambled for. His beloved apostle stood and denied him 3 times. A disciple He loved sold His life for 30 paltry pieces of silver and then he was NAILED to a cross in the stead of a murderer. This all happened to Our Lord and savior, who wept bitter tears in Gethsemane and asked that this cup might be taken away, ONLY if it be God's will. But He knew it wouldn't be. It coudn't if mankind were ever to be reconciled to God. This son, this part of God could have called down 12 Legions of Angels to free him. ( that is 12 times between probably 400-600, possibly up to 1000 angels per Legion) Yet he did not. He prayed for those who crucified him. He promised the thief who called on His name that he'd be in paradise that night. He cried out for God. He said "I thirst" at which time they gave Him vinegar on a hyssop- and this fulfilled the last prophecy regarding His death.
All this pain, suffering, false accusations, and humiliation was suffered for you. And me. And every sinner living and yet to be born. You might want to think about that the next time you start to complain about your "BAD DAY." It's all relative. Remember to thank Him and not let one drop of that precious blood be wasted. Work for the drops shed for you. He still loves us.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Goats, presidents, and God
I'm now an old pro at university life. Why, I've gone for 2 entire weeks! Yeah, I know. I'm still on a milk diet, not ready for the meat. But what a feast of knowledge is spread before me! I'm a fan of learning, anyway, but I usually resent having to read what I am TOLD to read. I'm sure that comes from somewhere far, far back in my life, but the event I can remember and trace it back to, is hiding my romance novel in a textbook in class. I mean, I could read FAST. Why should I be bored and suffer while waiting on everyone else to catch up? So, while the slower readers were trudging through their assignments, I was either a kidnap victim to a swarthy pirate or to an Apache warrior with razor blade cheekbones. I really like to read.
Back to the original point, (yes, there was one) everything I had assigned to me to read, unless it was immediately interesting to me (which is most things except "sports" stories and Mathematics instruction) was a HUGE waste of my time. It was a moment reading I could spend with Johanna Lindsey or Danielle Steele (both of which I am now pretty tired of- except the occasional re-read of Johanna's- I've "known" her so long, we are on first name basis, "Warrior Woman" series or her Vikings books)
However, now that I am in a University with "Christian" in the title, it's a whole new ballgame. Typically the books are about God and Jesus. Now, would I be there were I not really interested in those subjects? No. I'm also taking Math, remedial that is, and am now paying for very poor decision-making in my youth. I signed up for Algebra 1 just when I was supposed to, but due to a situation beyond my control, I had to drop it. The insurmountable problem that I dropped it due to? I was assigned it during the lunch period and NONE of my friends were in there with me! There was no way I could go to lunch ALL-ALONE. I was incomplete without one or more of my friends. Only their friendship to me gave me a feeling of value. Yes, I was book-smart and dumb as a fence post, all at once. I've since learned that I am a complete person all by myself and I am NEVER alone. Imagine that!
I'm not back in school to further my career. I don't see a possibility of returning to nursing full-time ever again since Fibromyalgia moved in. Furthermore, I have enough responsibilities at home to make it more than full-time. A disabled child with mental illnesses (and did you know- that is not a dirty little secret anymore?) that we homeschool, a husband with enough health problems to earn 100% disabled veteran status, a married son and daughter-in-law who I have to give unsolicited advice to and a herd of goats that I adore, all need me. (did you somehow expect more pedestrian challenges? I adore the kids and husband, too- not JUST the goats but didn't want to you think I had any jobs I didn't do for love) Now I've added full-timed student to this list.Why?
This job of student is for me. When I'm done and much more knowledgeable about the Bible and effectively communicating it, it will be for the Lord that I have studied. Whether I end up doing what I have initially got "planned" in the back of my head, I don't know. But I will still be what I am now, a servant of the Lord. Hopefully, I will be much more knowledgeable and more perfectly the "ME" I am designed to be. But the process to get me there- the classes I attend, the lectures I listen to and the books I read- they are all FOR ME. But in the end, I am not my own and want to always do, to His will, and NOT mine.
I guess 2nd week is still pretty much a newbie. But there are such perks to attendance at HCU. Tonight I get to go and listen to President George W. Bush speak. For a lot less than most guests,, because HCU is good to the students. We get to go for a greatly discounted rate. The flip side is that my other half can't go. But that's okay, and I think we all agree, I've earned some "Me" time.
Wherever you go and whatever you do- remember to thank the Father for the gift of life and opportunity, and the greatest gift he gave us, that of John 3:16 If He had not done so, sin would always have separated us from life in Heaven with God. So, thank Him for everything you can think of, while you are at it. 'Cause you have it all on loan, from Him.
Don't forget to go to church tomorrow!
God Bless You!
Back to the original point, (yes, there was one) everything I had assigned to me to read, unless it was immediately interesting to me (which is most things except "sports" stories and Mathematics instruction) was a HUGE waste of my time. It was a moment reading I could spend with Johanna Lindsey or Danielle Steele (both of which I am now pretty tired of- except the occasional re-read of Johanna's- I've "known" her so long, we are on first name basis, "Warrior Woman" series or her Vikings books)
However, now that I am in a University with "Christian" in the title, it's a whole new ballgame. Typically the books are about God and Jesus. Now, would I be there were I not really interested in those subjects? No. I'm also taking Math, remedial that is, and am now paying for very poor decision-making in my youth. I signed up for Algebra 1 just when I was supposed to, but due to a situation beyond my control, I had to drop it. The insurmountable problem that I dropped it due to? I was assigned it during the lunch period and NONE of my friends were in there with me! There was no way I could go to lunch ALL-ALONE. I was incomplete without one or more of my friends. Only their friendship to me gave me a feeling of value. Yes, I was book-smart and dumb as a fence post, all at once. I've since learned that I am a complete person all by myself and I am NEVER alone. Imagine that!
I'm not back in school to further my career. I don't see a possibility of returning to nursing full-time ever again since Fibromyalgia moved in. Furthermore, I have enough responsibilities at home to make it more than full-time. A disabled child with mental illnesses (and did you know- that is not a dirty little secret anymore?) that we homeschool, a husband with enough health problems to earn 100% disabled veteran status, a married son and daughter-in-law who I have to give unsolicited advice to and a herd of goats that I adore, all need me. (did you somehow expect more pedestrian challenges? I adore the kids and husband, too- not JUST the goats but didn't want to you think I had any jobs I didn't do for love) Now I've added full-timed student to this list.Why?
This job of student is for me. When I'm done and much more knowledgeable about the Bible and effectively communicating it, it will be for the Lord that I have studied. Whether I end up doing what I have initially got "planned" in the back of my head, I don't know. But I will still be what I am now, a servant of the Lord. Hopefully, I will be much more knowledgeable and more perfectly the "ME" I am designed to be. But the process to get me there- the classes I attend, the lectures I listen to and the books I read- they are all FOR ME. But in the end, I am not my own and want to always do, to His will, and NOT mine.
I guess 2nd week is still pretty much a newbie. But there are such perks to attendance at HCU. Tonight I get to go and listen to President George W. Bush speak. For a lot less than most guests,, because HCU is good to the students. We get to go for a greatly discounted rate. The flip side is that my other half can't go. But that's okay, and I think we all agree, I've earned some "Me" time.
Wherever you go and whatever you do- remember to thank the Father for the gift of life and opportunity, and the greatest gift he gave us, that of John 3:16 If He had not done so, sin would always have separated us from life in Heaven with God. So, thank Him for everything you can think of, while you are at it. 'Cause you have it all on loan, from Him.
Don't forget to go to church tomorrow!
God Bless You!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Captain's Log:stardate Alpha
Yeah, the title is completely irrelevant, but haven't you ALWAYS wanted to write that? Or is it just me? Oh, it's just me. Well.
So, today was my first day of classes. I was so excited and nervous and wired up on coffee. It's the first time in-well, longer than I intend to tell, since I went to school for something I WANTED to know. (continuing education hours for nursing, just so you know, are not in the least interesting 9 times out of 10. When they are interesting, you'd still almost rather have a root canal than listen to the experts in a room that is 20 degrees below zero and nibble on a boxed lunch while discussing bowel and bladder incontinence. But, I digress...)
So, here I am in this place of higher learning to learn about GOD. All caps. HE deserves them. I kept looking at all these bright young faces (and yes, that DOES include some of the instructors) who have NO idea just how YOUNG they are and besides the envy I fight against feeling, I am so impressed that so many young men and women of God are dedicating their lives to His service. The atmosphere here is saturated with positive energy.
Now, I am really good at blaming everything on myself in any given situation, anyway, but today I caught myself early when I started to think how deep their connection to God is now when compared with my own at that age.
I was raised up in the church as a small child and then my parents left the church for a number of years (beyond the end of my childhood). That started a terrible pattern with me that lasted for a long number of years. When things were really bad and I needed God the most, I would forsake the assembly- feeling unworthy to be there. Well, we all know who whispered those words in my insecure ears. I'm still not worthy, as none of us are, to even lift our faces up to the heavens. Fortunately, we don't have to be worthy- because Christ was and is. Because of His sacrifice we are eligible for forgiveness repeatedly as long as we have followed the blueprint of faith he left us in the Bible.
So, I won't feel too bad that it took me a little longer to end up at Heritage. I think I've gained a lot of insight over the years. I believe now that the years I spent in nursing homes as an LPN, that I was doing my own ministry in that no one who was my patient died without knowing at least one person who was there and was caring for them truly loved them and was praying for them. So, while I'd certainly change somethings in my past. I was then, and am now, exactly where God wants me to be.
So, today was my first day of classes. I was so excited and nervous and wired up on coffee. It's the first time in-well, longer than I intend to tell, since I went to school for something I WANTED to know. (continuing education hours for nursing, just so you know, are not in the least interesting 9 times out of 10. When they are interesting, you'd still almost rather have a root canal than listen to the experts in a room that is 20 degrees below zero and nibble on a boxed lunch while discussing bowel and bladder incontinence. But, I digress...)
So, here I am in this place of higher learning to learn about GOD. All caps. HE deserves them. I kept looking at all these bright young faces (and yes, that DOES include some of the instructors) who have NO idea just how YOUNG they are and besides the envy I fight against feeling, I am so impressed that so many young men and women of God are dedicating their lives to His service. The atmosphere here is saturated with positive energy.
Now, I am really good at blaming everything on myself in any given situation, anyway, but today I caught myself early when I started to think how deep their connection to God is now when compared with my own at that age.
I was raised up in the church as a small child and then my parents left the church for a number of years (beyond the end of my childhood). That started a terrible pattern with me that lasted for a long number of years. When things were really bad and I needed God the most, I would forsake the assembly- feeling unworthy to be there. Well, we all know who whispered those words in my insecure ears. I'm still not worthy, as none of us are, to even lift our faces up to the heavens. Fortunately, we don't have to be worthy- because Christ was and is. Because of His sacrifice we are eligible for forgiveness repeatedly as long as we have followed the blueprint of faith he left us in the Bible.
So, I won't feel too bad that it took me a little longer to end up at Heritage. I think I've gained a lot of insight over the years. I believe now that the years I spent in nursing homes as an LPN, that I was doing my own ministry in that no one who was my patient died without knowing at least one person who was there and was caring for them truly loved them and was praying for them. So, while I'd certainly change somethings in my past. I was then, and am now, exactly where God wants me to be.
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